Communication = Compassionate Listening and Learning

My friend Pooh Bear once said:  “Lots of people talk to animals…

…Not very many listen, though. That’s the problem…”

  For roughly fourteen thousand years humans have been attempting to communicate with dogs, and with horses. Animals of other species have been a part of our lives for thousands of years as well. We ARE getting better at it, but one look around a typical "training" establishment and you will still find methods and tools left over from times past, when we simply didn't know a better way.

Because horses and dogs have long been an integral part of our lives, we have been compelled to try to tell them what to do and how to do it, mostly with good intentions in the name of training and socialization. When these noble creatures do not do what we say, we call them “bad”, we say they are trying to "dominate" us, or that they are belligerent, ornery, defiant and many such things. These two species have the dubious distinction of not only being our closest companions and assistants, but also the most abused animals in America. We even speak of our teaching them in terms that imply a power struggle:  we “break a horse”, we make a dog “obedient”, we are their "masters", we “make” them do it, we “correct” them if they are wrong…

Certainly we can approach teaching and changing the inappropriate behavior of our animals in a way that doesn’t require such an approach or intent.  We can work together with our animals, helping them to be successful, and we can put certain behaviors on cue so they will voluntarily offer those behaviors.

The greatest problem we often face with effective communication is our belief that it has been accomplished. If we are open to listening and learning from the animals, they will teach us how to teach them.

 Here are the common physical ways that animals and people communicate:

• Body language and posture
• Verbally
• Visually
• Hearing 
• Scenting

Learning how your animal friend communicates with others of its species, and with other species can be a big help for learning to communicate effectively. Often, the signs of communication are very subtle, and unless we are focused on learning and watching for these signs, they are easily missed. Historically, humans have placed most of the responsibility on the animals for learning how to speak "human", rather than sharing the responsibility and learning how to speak "animal". I laugh at how animals must perceive us humans at times...when someone doesn't "get" what we are saying, we dig into our primate toolbox and begin speaking louder and faster, while wildly gesticulating, somehow convinced that this will make our communication more clear! How oddly funny we must seem!

The genetic tendencies of your animal companion will also bring you to a deeper level of understanding their behavior. What is their natural habitat, natural life cycles, natural diet, social needs and exercise requirements? What is your particular breed bred to specialize in? These can all give you clues to what motivates your animal’s behavior.

Suzanne Clothier does a role playing exercise with handlers demonstrating the difficulty of communicating in a language that the other party doesn’t understand. She has one person try to teach another person to do a simple behavior like hop, or take off one shoe. The 'teacher' can only use the names of fruits and veggies to communicate to the student and cannot model the behavior. Of course, the words spoken by the teacher sound like complete nonsense to the student, since this is a coded language they do not understand. The scenario reminds me of people telling their dogs in ever-increasing volume to sit! sit! sit! Sit! Sit! SIT! SIT! SIT!!! Then, in exasperation, exclaiming "Molly just refuses to listen to me!", when in fact Molly just doesn't understand the meaning of the word. This type of role modeling exercise between people can certainly create a greater understanding from the perspective of the animal learner...give it a try sometime!

Think about the English language for a minute…to us English speaking humans, “down” can have many different meanings: “lie on the ground”, “get off the sofa”, “don’t jump on me”, "I’m feeling a little depressed today”, or “soft feathers on a duck”…  It can be confusing for fellow humans to grasp the true meaning of our words, so just imagine what a challenge our animals have to learn our language. Learning to speak with clarity, saying what you really intend to say, is critically important for communicating with another.

Non-Physical Communication

Animals may not speak our language, but their thoughts and feelings can be interpreted by a sensing process that allows humans to "share awareness" wth the animal. Using our bodies as a sort of antenna, we can pick up the unique energetic frequency of an individual, similar to the way a radio tuned to a particular radio station frequency can transmit the music and talk being broadcast.

Modern science has shown how emotions are actually the driving force of each person and animal. In her book "Molecules of Emotion", author Candice Pert demonstrates that emotions are inseperable from our physiology, and link the mind and the body. In her talks, she shows how the molecules of emotion run every system in our bodies and how this communication system uses innate intelligence which is wise enough to seek wellness, and can potentially keep us healthy and disease-free.

Because of this cellular intelligence and it's intent to seek wellness, we have the ability to help our animal companions by tapping into their thoughts and emotions through telepathic and intuitive communication. We can learn to listen and understand them and to see them as "whole" beings from a holistic perspective that incorporates all aspects of a being's nature -- physical, emotional, mental and spiritual.

My work with animals and their people reinforces my belief in the profound connection that exists between humans, animals, all of nature and the universe. Animals are our teachers and healers and I have found their lessons to be life-altering. They have so much to share with us, if we are willing to listen... 

Are you Listening?

Listening means having an awareness and an openness to learn something new about another being…listening with the intent to learn is an approach to a truly different type of conversation. Effective communication depends upon a fluid, two-way flow of physical and non-physical information. Staying focused, and in the moment, is key to really listening. Our animals are masters at this -- which is why they have picked up the slack for us for all these years!

To ask “What can I learn from you?” opens the door to a whole new world. Simply being open to the possibility that your animals might have something to teach you will forever shift your perspective of life. Offering this respect to another being automatically causes them to respond in turn with mutual respect, and helps to clear up the static in the lines of communication.

Listen and learn, and use that wisdom to enhance partnership, understanding and cooperation.

So, if your dog is jumping up on you when you get home, first remember she is very excited to see you, and simply wants to greet you in proper canine fashion, by licking your mouth…

If your bunny bites you when you pick her up, first consider that she may be frightened or hurting...

If your cat pees on your favorite designer rug, listen to what he is saying and you may find he hates the smell of that new litter you bought or that the other cat is bullying him and keeping him from using the box…

If your new horse is a bit head shy, perhaps he showing you that he has some discomfort in his ears, or mouth, or that he is anxious about the impending riding lesson…

All of the concepts can be applied to the people in your life as well, including your self. Choose to perceive your spouse, your child, your neighbor or your boss from this holistic perspective and you may be pleasantly surprised at how your relationships begin to improve.

Everything is connected to everything...

What I can tell you is that all things are connected to all things. If we can perceive the “wholeness” of our selves and our animals we can see much more clearly than if we only focus on fine details. If we can perceive what emotions or genetics motivates and drives  behavior, we can more fully understand how to help ourselves and our animals live fuller, happier more balanced lives. And if we can feel respect and compassion for individuality, that which makes any sentient being especially them, we can truly experience our lives in the way of the heart – in balance and in harmony.